


"Myself from once upon a time"

by orphan_account



Category: Kuroko no Basuke | Kuroko's Basketball
Genre: And make sure to watch the video i left in the notes, And the happy moments he have with the kiseki guys, And the people who support him all the way, Don't worry, Gen, I recommend reading it with your fav sad song, It will end up really happy, It's about Kuroko's struggle to become a great basketball player, Multi, This is just fluffs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-16
Updated: 2015-08-16
Packaged: 2018-04-14 22:56:31
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,165
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4583304
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"...Why are you crying?" </p><p>I still didn't answer him. My teeth is too busy biting my lower lip so the sobbing couldn't be heard. My tears keep falling down drops after drops.</p><p>He didn't ask anything else after that. I guess he already knew by just looking at the gym falling apart and those basketballs messing them up. A warm hand suddenly stroking my hair.</p><p>"Say, do you know that your heart is only visible to people other than you?" </p><p>Don't say that no one ever listen to you. Because I've been looking at your heart for a long time.</p>
            </blockquote>





	"Myself from once upon a time"

**Author's Note:**

> ((This fanfiction is inspired by the song 'Mukashi mukashi no Kyou no boku' by Hatsune Miku. Please read it with your favorite songs, as it will brighten up your mood. 
> 
> I also recommend a comfortable position and either if you have a good day or a bad day, just remember Kuroko. 
> 
> And after you're done reading, please watch the video of this song that this truly amazing person made. The art and the music is so compatible and touching. Enjoy your stay :)
> 
> https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZpZN2jKn0L4

I walk myself to the corner of the gym, holding a basketball on both hands. I sat there and watch them play, can't help but think,  _what an amazing team they are._

The five stars of the team are playing professionally on the court. The opponents can't even touch them. Their shots, their form, their radiance...all of them. Are just perfect. But on top of that, their victory faces are the best. It thrilling just by watching them play.

The screeching sounds of the shoes, the rebounds that were caught in an intense situation, the loud bouncing sound of the basketball across the gym, the thought of sweat dripping all over my body really excites me.

I wonder if I can reach to their level someday too. I've always admired their hard working attitude, their spirits, their effort, everything, although I can only see those from behind their backs. It's like I've never seen their true faces before from the front. Me and them are too far away. But really...

_I want to play too..._

I practiced a bit more after school. It's fine if I stay until 6 or 7.30 p.m, as long as it is before 8 p.m so I can make it for dinner. Alone in the empty gym, I feel that my whole body is already drenched, but I haven't stop yet.

I tried running faster like Kise, but I tripped head first. I tried shooting a three pointer like Midorima, but it bounced back. I tried performing a dunk like Aomine, but it doesn't go in.

In a heavy breathing, I rethink to myself, where did I do wrong? I think my form was all perfect. Is it because my body is smaller that I tripped myself? Is it because I don't have long arms that my shots missed? Or is it because my legs are short that I can't make the jump? I feel like I have too many flaws not only physically, but the way I did it too.

I'm already feeling exhausted. I sat down on the gym floor, wiping my sweat from entering my eyes. I observe the messy gym floor filled with basketballs lying all over the place.

_Maybe I shouldn't have come and practice here everyday. Maybe I shouldn't have practice at home or even on weekends either. Maybe I shouldn't be hoping. Maybe...I should just give up on being on the same team afterall..._

I lay my head on my knees, closing my face with warm breath touching my skin. I grip my legs even closer, and I shut my eyes as hard as possible so I can forget about this stupid hope I'm holding on to. It's impossible. _  
_

_It's best if I don't like basketball this much._

The creaking sound of the gym door being open echoes throughtout the room. There, stood a darker male in front of the door, confused on who would be here at this hour. So he forgot his shoes again.

"GAH!! T-Tetsu? What are you doing??" 

I lifted my head for a moment and tuck myself in again. I didn't answer him. He came closer to myself.

"...Why are you crying?" 

I still didn't answer him. My teeth is too busy biting my lower lip so the sobbing couldn't be heard. My tears keep falling down drops after drops.

He didn't ask anything else after that. I guess he already knew by just looking at the gym falling apart and those basketballs messing them up. A warm hand suddenly stroking my head.

"Say, do you know that your heart is only visible to people other than you?" 

I lift my face a little as I watch his big smile already forming right infront of my eyes. I could feel the warmth of his words reached to me completely. I finally wipe my tears and smiled a little.

"Hey! That's what I'm talking about! Smile does fits you the best!" I laughed at his comment. I couldn't help it.

Maybe I should practice a bit more.

\-----○○-----

I am finally in the team. I am no longer sitting in the corner of the gym. Instead, I would sit on the same bench as them. Everywhere I go, they will be following too. 

I can now see their faces. Their true faces that I have been longing to meet. They greet my first debut with patient guidance. They teach me endurance, skills, step by step. They are not what people was talking about.

' _Who do they think they are? _They're just monsters!_ '_

_'Just because they can shoot, doesn't mean that they're good enough.'_

_'What jerks. They can't even take it easy and play normally. It's never fun playing like that.'_

Those people around them keep on talking bad about them. It's not true, and they just ignored them. Sometimes I just walk behind them on purpose, watching their backs again.

"Tetsu! Let's go buy some popsicles!"

"Kurokocchi, I'll join too!"

"Eh~ Akachin, I want it too."

"Alright. Let's go buy some."

"Not too fast, nanodayo." 

"Mou~ Dai-chan! Wait for us will you?"

Again, after every practice, we will treat ourselves with some ice cream on our way home. We pack our stuffs before leaving the gym.

I've always wondered, isn't it hard to listen to those horrible comments? Aren't they tired? Aren't they frustrated? Isn't it painful, to the point where you would hate something that you love the most? It is amazing how their powers are too excessive that they are being hated. That is because I've never seen them hangout with anyone other than themselves. It is amazing how strong they are, that the opponents no longer have the will to fight them on their second match against each other, whenever they heard their name. It's amazing that I might even get scared.

But truly, that is who I was before. Admiring them enough from just their backs. From the audience seat, just too far behind them. Being with them is like a dream. But right now, I'm truly happy for the place I'm standing now. But I've always thought about something. Being left by them is what I'm really afraid of.

"But before that...Aominecchi! One-on-One!" Kise exclaimed with the basketball hailed up high. 

"Okay! Game on!" And they start playing again.

"You guys! We're about to close the gym already!"

I sat down with my legs folded to my knees. Again, far away from their sight, looking at their backs.

_I wonder if I've worked hard enough. I wonder if I'm worth being with them. But now that I'm a little bit more positive about myself,_

_Does my heart looks like it's twinkling?_

Eh, what's this. Why do I suddenly feel sad?

"Kuroko, you're crying?" Midorima commented on me. I wiped them and take a look at it myself. I  _am_ crying.

Everyone stopped on what they are doing and look at me. They seemed really shocked, and quickly approach me.

"Tetsu-kun! What's wrong?!" 

"Kurokocchi! We'll stop playing okay? So please don't feel sad!" 

It was really noisy in the gym. Everyone is overeacting just because I'm crying. An unimportant, lack of presence, weak player like me, crying. Someone who is still far behind, and unworthy is crying. All of these worrying really bothers me.

_You've always been looking at me afterall, huh?_

I smiled as my tears stop. A warm reaction was given. I have to appreciate moments like this.

 _It was hard, It was frustrating and it was painful._ Don't say that, myself. You have what you need now. You are not who the mirror reflects yesterday. That day, we made a promise to ourselves to keep playing together. Yesterday, today, tomorrow, the next day, and the next day, always. _Always_. I can't imagine being without them. 

\---

As the day keeps on passing like this, the same as the days that we've spent together, I hear a 'see you again tomorrow!' behind my back before leaving, and a 'do your best!' at every beginning of the day. I've become really used to it, with those waving hands and familiar voices that follows. 

But you know, things have been different. My passes has become stronger, but the receiver feel like they couldn't reach it. Winning the game feels weird. Not because of the jealous glares and the mocking, not because the opponents hated us and wouldn't even bother to shun us. We've already passed that. It's just feels like...he have lost the willing to fight. Winning is no longer something big, something to look forward to, something to celebrate.

"Winning feels boring now. I can never find what I'm looking for." 

That day, there were no goodbyes or handfist or anything. Aomine just left me with the sight of his back, running further and further away from me.

It's not just that. It keeps getting even worse. The team is falling apart. I can't keep up with them anymore. I was really scared that this day will come.

We no longer practice with each other. We no longer talk to each other. We no longer see each other anymore. Everything feels so wrong, I don't know who to blame anymore. Should I blame myself? But why? What did I do wrong?

After the Nationals, I resign myself from the club. It's not clear about how I feel and why I did that. I just really hated basketball. My whole body is trembling and I can't keep my eyes shut. I left without saying a word. I don't even know how to face them.

As I am walking alone, it suddenly felt peculiar. I no longer hear laughing sounds. There was no one walking behind me. I am all alone.

I clenched to my chest. Why am I back here? Why am I still in the gym? Why do I even bother going here after school? For what reason is this heart ache I'm feeling? Everytime I see this place, all of those moments, those memories, just piling up, and eventually dripping from my eyes. Everytime I look at this empty gym, everytime I hear a screeching sound, everytime a basketball bounce on the floor. Everything. I hate it.

No, it's not hate. What's this painful feeling in my chest? It hurts. It hurts so much. I'm such a fool. All this time...

_Why doesn't anyone ever listen to my true feelings?_

"Oi." Kagami patted my back, and I am finally concious again.

"You're spacing out. Don't show me that kind of face. It doesn't fit you."  _  
_

I nodded, and a loud sigh could be heard. I looked back and saw everyone in the team flocking over me on the floor. They actually laugh when I fell asleep here.

"Geez, you're making us worry! I'll double up the menu for you."

"Now, now. It's okay to cry sometimes! Problems are just too hard to handle by himself."

"Were you dreaming about something bad?"

I smiled, "No. it was a happy dream."

"Alright, now that you're done crying in your sleep, you can go and carry on that errand of yours!"

That's right. Seirin is my new team now. I've probably never realized that, but they've been supporting me. They took care of me and they listen to me. I didn't realize it until now, but ' _they' have also been doing that since the beggining._

"Then I'll be off now."I stood up and quickly pace out of the gym, leaving everyone behind while they're waving both hands.

"Do your best!" Those _familiar voices._ I've never realized every little things they've done. 

It  _was_ hard, it _was_ frustrating and it  _was_ painful. But this time, it's my turn to be of help. **  
**

I've reached to the destination. As expected, everyone is here. We've all made a promise afterall.

"Huh, never thought that I would actually come to this old arena. It's all because of that promise that day, and yet, you're the one who's late, Tetsu." Aomine exclaimed. 

"Kurochin."

"Kuroko."

"Tetsuya."

"Kurokocchi."

"Tetsu-kun."

_All of those familiar voices. I want to hear them again. I want to hold them close to me again._

I clenched to my fist and took a deep breath, lowering my head. I could feel the tears that are forming.

"Please hangout with me again. Let's practice together and play basketball together. Let's buy popsicles after school and laugh at each other again. Please take a look at my heart once more. Again. Again...Again... _Always."_

_"I missed you so much, it's killing me."_

My voice finally cracks as I burst into tears. We start crying at the same time. There were sobbing, chuckling, snorting and heavy breathing, all mixed in. So henceforth we will never feel alone anymore. All of them showing their true faces, their true feelings and a warmhearted smile. We hugged each other, looking at each other with eyes filled with tears.

"We've missed you too!"

_Goodbye, myself from once upon a time._

 

 

 

  

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> it's about Kuroko's past. yep. That's the whole summary. You can watch the video now. It's really worth it.  
> I almost cried but then I cried internally. ;_; Thank you for reading! Leave a comment.


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